![]() I know, I know I should not expect much from the horror genre, particularly a PG-13 90s horror film, but they didn’t even bother here. Even the documentary crew (pre-Voight) seem terribly unprepared. Voight’s hairbrained scheme is about forty steps too complicated to be logical. The weirdest part about this one is that the motivations of the characters don’t make a lot of sense. I think they made Voight a villain, so they didn’t have to utilize the snake as much to keep tension. Everything in this movie is just plot crap designed to push us towards more set piece moments where the CGI noodle will knock off another annoying character. ![]() They wanted to make a big blockbuster about a giant super-snake. There is an ambition in this film that I think we must appreciate. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that no research was done, but I was, I’m ashamed to say. Any anthropologist would take issue with the original project. Anyone with any background in zoology would laugh at this film’s incoherent and nonsensical approach to snakes. My notes for this film include “This fucking cast,” “Jon Voight’s fucking face,” “What the fuck,” and “Why the fuck?” My wife wanted me to mention that the fireflies are obviously Christmas lights, but of all the oddities in this movie I found this one to be less egregious. The show stealer is his fucking psycho face though: Not sure where to put this, but Voight’s accent in this movie is a mixture of Tony Montana and everything in Deliverance. He serves as the driving force to stop the search for the tribe and instead look for a big snake that would be worth a lot of money. If nothing else, the film is great because of the faces he makes. Voight owns this role and is clearly having a blast. However, the most important cast member, psycho snake hunter Serone (Jon Voight) comes on board after his boat is marooned. There are more characters, but who cares, right? Most of the rest of the crew serves as early fodder for the big ass snake. Terri (Jennifer Lopez) seems to be the organizer with her cameraman Danny (Ice Cube) and a Professor Steven (Eric Stoltz) will be doing the investigation. We follow an oddly star-studded documentary crew as they search for a hidden tribe in the Amazon. While we might all want to just trash this movie, let’s also remember this made about 150 million dollars at the box office. I remember thinking it was dumb when I saw it in theaters.
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